Every year many Christian married couples throw in the towel and head for divorce court. Financial problems are oftentimes the major culprit for these divorces, but lousy sex contributes too. Partly to blame for the lousy, boring sex are the hang-ups that Christians bring to the marriage bed.
Ironically, one cannot read the Song of Solomon in the Bible and honestly think that God wants Christians to have boring sex lives. Instead, He wants our sex lives to be hot and steamy, like King Solomon and the beautiful black Shulamite woman. This statement shouldn’t surprise you seeing that our Father created sex.
Okay, before moving further, let’s address the elephant in the room. What does an older Christian man who is over 50-years old know about hot steamy sex? Child, please! My wife and I enjoy each other sexually as much as now as when we first married. How do you think we’ve remained happily married for 28 years? Suffice it to say; she makes a brother hurry up and get home. Nuff said. Back to the article.
Now, let’s go deep into this topic (no pun intended, get your mind outta the gutter, no keep it there for now). Here are a few things that may restore or incite hot steamy sex in your Christian marriage. Before we look at these things, let’s take a brief look at a couple of areas that may be affecting the bedroom that are not obvious.
COMMUNICATION
We can always improve in the area of communication, especially in the bedroom. Don’t assume your spouse knows what you like while having sex. Tell your spouse what you like or don’t like. The trouble comes when a spouse likes a particular touch or position and assumes the other spouse does, too. Make no assumptions; communicate your likes and dislikes. And then set out to please one another!
FINANCES
No money, no honey; no finance, no romance. I recall an evangelist making this statement. Her point was that when the finances aren’t right the lovemaking will not be right. As stated earlier, financial issues cause most married couples to divorce. Women need to feel secure, so when the bills are unpaid, it makes her feel insecure and unstable.
Since having sex is just as much mental as physical, if your wife’s mind is preoccupied with unpaid bills, then it can affect her fully engaging in the sex. The last thing on her mind will be sex when the money is funny. Most men don’t get this point. It seems as though some of us don’t care about the bills and can have sex under ANY circumstances. Brothers, strive to keep your finances straight, so your lovemaking isn’t hampered.
MEN STAY HORNY
Wives accept it; most men love sex. I mean really love it! For the few who don’t something is likely wrong (gay, down low, sick, adultery, unhappiness, etc.). Some psychologists say men NEED sex like food. No joke, sex for men is at the top of their priority list. When we don’t get it often and abundantly, it’ll cause big issues in some way in the marriage.
THE PROPER MINDSET
Have you ever heard the expression – lady in the streets, freak in the sheets. That’s a good saying. Early on Toni and I knew we wanted to have a good sex life. She didn’t want me sexually unfulfilled and vice versa. We decided to make sex a priority. Nevertheless, she had certain sexual inhibitions having grown up in a Pentecostal church, whereas I grew up in the streets.
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